I woke up to a call from my mother, My day had already been ruined because I knew it was not a good phone call. When she tells me- my GreatUncle had passed.
I knew the day was coming due to his cancer of 9 long months, but you can never prepare yourself for the final day. Horrible news is always unwanted. I cried, I cried, I sobbed, I sobbed. Things were not supposed to be like this. He was one of the few whom I knew my entire life. How was I to go on without him by my side? I rushed to his apartment complex with my sisters to only find an elevator packed of my family members & one stranger.. A stranger who happened to be the only one not crying.. who was he? When my uncle runs to me- leaving a slight open view of who was being surrounded in the elevator, my GreatUncle in a body-bag. With the stranger who was taking him away.
My uncle rushed to me and held me up as I sobbed in disbelief. I needed that much more time to tell him that I Love Him. We go on up to the apartment, to find my family members. I could not keep going in, I stayed by the door, shaking, crying & hurt to believe the unwanted.
I saw my family in pain & I knew I was not the only one- I hate seeing my family hurt.
I saw my GreatAunt & held her tight while we both cried on each others shoulder.
We go down to the lobby & have a prayer.
I mourn. Music is off. Blank stares on faces. Red eyes. People shaking. My family is hurt. We stayed close throughout the weekend, having countless prayers to him. ”Pray to him, those are his most desired flowers.”
The wake funeral was being held. I saw all of my family members from New York, New Jersey, Florida, Massachusetts- etc.. they were everywhere. The place was packed.
I saw my GreatUncle from a distance laying in a dark, shiny & perfectly chiseled wood coffin.
He looked peaceful. I was peaceful.
It was all but tears in that room full of family & friends but we all felt some sort of relief. We began to accept it. It was good to be around them. It’s unfortunate, the only time we ALL see each other is when something bad has happened. I met a lot of my new family members. Good to have them around. I was feeling better but I was not looking forward to the next day. Little did I know, It was only to be worse..
Tuesday, December 27, 2011
5am. Instantly heard screaming. I jumped out of bed without realizing anything, threw everything on me off of me, my mattress slid off my bed. I woke up scared & rapidly. I heard my mother yelling, screaming & in pain. “Papa!” I rushed down the steps thinking the worst & expecting the worst. I thought it was my father.
I never thought about the person my Mother was actually crying about.
Little did I know I was to wake up to attend my GreatUncles funeral & to hear my mother yelling and stomping. My GrandFather, Loreto Silvas, had died.
How could this be happening? We booked my Mother & Aunt a flight to Los Angeles, LAX to then hit Mexico. It was all hectic she left within an hour. She was now on her way to New York, JFK. Too much was happening at once. I wish to had spent more time with him, but it is hard because he was in Mexico. Knowing I won’t be able to see him again, hurt me like never before.
He was not sick, he was healthy. What happened? We didn’t know, we didn’t have a clear answer. It was hard not knowing what happened. It was even harder knowing he died alone.
It was then time to go to my GreatUncles church service, It was hard knowing my GrandFather was also looking down on us. Knowing I lost another part of me was hard. My family was around me for support.
Rest In Peace Rafael Guzman.
Rest In Peace Loreto Silvas.
I Love You with everything I have and more. These words were close to nothing on explain how much I miss you & how much I love you. My heart is hurting but I know you are watching over us all. Just know I will always love you & carry the memories around with me EVERYWHERE I go.
I LOVE YOU.
-Yours.
Cassie- King Of Hearts
REPPING NEW LONDON, CT 06320 BABY &! WE’RE NEIGHBORS . WORD.
(Source: niaventura)
Surprise Alex! You have f a l l e n for another one of those fo.0lish games men love to play. I am going to lay it all out now, ALL is an under statement because I do have too much to say, especially how I am feeling now. Okay, so I don’t believe men are a piece of shit, pigs, stupid, jerks, selfish, inconsiderate, bags of rocks nor dogs- I do believe they can definitely act that way. Labeling theory is giving someone a label & them acting upon that label. Get it? For example, If I call a man a dog, it is more likely that man will act like a dog than a man. Not saying he will woof woof, instead saying he will hump hump. So are females labeling these “men” and actually feeding the fire for them to act like piece of shits, pigies, stupids, jerks, selfishies, inconsiderates, bags of rockies and dogies? I think so. Although, we all do what we want. I do what I want, You do what you want, a dog does what it wants. I do what I want- yet to please myself as well as others. Men over look that - they just simply please themselves. I was vulnerable for love, I was looking fast and near for it. I found what I like to call a potential mate. Everything seemed to feel too good to be true, which in many ways are just how females feel in almost every situation. I was happy. He was happy. Everything was f a l l i n g into place. I let my wall down one brick at a time, he can finally see my soul. He can finally hear my soul. He can finally feel my soul. Once he saw, heard and felt my soul, it was way too good to be true, in fact, it WAS too good to be true. Impatient? He became a person I didn’t know. A person I didn’t like. I didn’t label him, instead he labeled himself. Thank You. He became not only a dog but a cat. Me:1 Him:o